Grieving and Processing Tragedy

December 14, 2012 will be a date our country will remember.  There are so many questions that come to mind when such a horrific act is reported.  Who did it?  Why?  What in the world would motivate such a violent and life changing tragedy?  As the dots are connected by the investigators and reported by the media, we look in shock, anger, concern, hurt, worry, etc.  What response should we have?

As a parent of an elementary age child my first reaction was a desire to go to Tyler's school and scoop him up so that I know he is safe.  As a pastor my prayers began immediately, and I could feel empathetic pain for those parents and family members whose lives will never be the same. Here are a few of my initial thoughts in the face of tragedy.

First, the best first and continued response is prayer.  Pray for the families who lost children or family members.  Pray for the peace of God to minister His shepherding love to each one.  Pray for our families.  Pray that God will protect and help us as we consider moving forward in a world where inexplicable violence is becoming more common.  Pray that we come to a thoughtful and effective way to prevent such acts in the future.

Second, for those of us with young children there are a few things we should remember.  We should remember that our children may not have enough understanding of the world to even comprehend what has happened.  Where we may be feeling deep hurt and/or concern, an extreme emotional reaction by us as parents can create an unnecessary scenario of fear and insecurity for our child.  Certainly hug them tighter, tell them you love them, and come up with meaningful words to help them understand why mommy and daddy are sad or concerned.  It certainly would be appropriate to gather as a family and pray for those affected directly.  Turning it over to God as a family would not only be a healthy and proper response, but it will train your children how to respond when bad things happen.

Third, and maybe one of the most difficult things to work through is the question, how could God allow such a tragic thing to happen?  A crisis of faith is certainly something that can occur in our minds and hearts when processing such a horrid event.  Things to remember here initially are that during a time of initial response there is shock, anger, denial, etc. which are natural.  In those natural responses we don't process things with as clear thoughts as we would during non heightened times.  Recognize and calm yourself from reacting extremely.  The time will come when you can see more clearly.  That is the time to think through questions of faith and world view.  Check back for more thoughts on this from me or others.

I don't pretend to think this is the only or right way to handle things, but I hope it helps minister shalom (peace) to your heart as you experience and consider such a terrible day in our history.

As for the immediate, let us pray and be comforted by these words...

Psalm 23

English Standard Version (ESV)

 The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.
     He makes me lie down in green pastures.
He leads me beside still waters.
     He restores my soul.
He leads me in paths of righteousness
    for his name's sake.

 Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
    I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
    your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies;
you anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
 Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever.